Shop for sweetheart now, avoid fisticuffs

It is not too early, guys, to start thinking about Valentine’s Day.

You’ll notice I directed that sentence at guys. This is because I am a guy, and I know how guys work, and that means I know that 90 percent of guys tend not to think about Valentine’s Day until it is almost too late. Really. Go to any drugstore after 5 p.m. on Feb. 14 and you will see what I mean.

There will be a small horde of panicked men, eyes bugged, little beads of sweat popping out on their foreheads, desperately searching through a picked-over selection of cards for something, ANYTHING, that says “I love you” without being too (a) cloying, (b) insulting or (c) direct. Fistfights are not uncommon as two, three or four men all reach at the same time for the last remaining valentine not directed to Mother.

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