Cancer is nothing new for a Greenwood family.
If they haven’t had it, then each family member has cared for someone who has.
But they wouldn’t mind a break from bad news.
In a little more than a year, the close family has been through two new cancer diagnoses, a return of cancer and a serious car accident that almost took their mother and father.
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Click here to purchase photos from this galleryThey’ve visited or stayed in nearly every major hospital on the southside or in downtown Indianapolis, at times getting confused about who was being treated where. But through it all, they have supported each other and continue to build their relationship as a family, they said.
“I used to think not me, not us. And I’ve learned anything in life could happen to us,” said Millie Nothstine, mother and grandmother.
In the past two years, one of Nothstine’s daughters was diagnosed with cancer, another had a recurrence and she and her husband, Jay, were in a devastating car accident on State Road 135 that could have killed them both. Shortly after, Jay also was diagnosed with cancer.
Now, a good day is a day that none of their relatives are in the hospital, family members said.
For Millie Nothstine, cancer already had been part of her life for decades. Her grandmother and brother died of cancer. Her mother had uterine and breast cancer. An uncle had colon cancer, and two cousins were diagnosed with stomach and brain cancer when they were 3 and 5.
And in 2014, one of her daughters, Marlene, was diagnosed with cancer. It was actually her second diagnosis, after being found to have Stage 1 colon cancer in 2004. But in 2014, the diagnosis was Stage 4 ovarian cancer, and testing later found she had the genetic marker that makes people more prone to getting cancer.
But by the end of 2015, Marlene was in chemotherapy again after the cancer returned.
That same summer, Millie’s other daughter Karen Carmichael was also diagnosed with breast cancer, which required chemotherapy and a double mastectomy once she learned she was also a carrier of the BRCA-2 genetic mutation.
And then, there was the accident that seriously injured Millie and Jay Nothstine. Jay had four broken ribs, and Millie was in the intensive care unit for a week and had to have four surgeries to repair multiple fractures in her legs, leaving her with rods and pins from the ankles up.
The accident and trauma could have been worse, possibly requiring amputation. But since Millie was an active woman — walking about 4 miles per day — her muscles, nerves and tissue were in great shape, her family said.
Millie was then sent to a rehabilitation hospital but had to be released early when her husband of more than five decades was diagnosed with cancer.
Jay was diagnosed with Stage 4 acute myeloid leukemia. Doctors told him he had only months to live.
What started with a bruise and then bleeding gums during a routine teeth cleaning ended up being a serious cancer diagnosis and intense treatments. He was given three options: contact hospice and not see the beginning of 2016, do maintenance chemotherapy, giving him another year or more to live, or try intense chemo that might cause the cancer to go into remission — or lead to an infection that would kill him, he said.
At first, he decided on option B — maintenance chemotherapy. But once he prayed about the decision, he knew it wasn’t what he believed he needed to do, he said.
So they went with the intense chemo.
“If it’s my time to go, I’m going to go,” he said.
Jay went through more than 200 hours of chemotherapy. He would receive treatments for 24 hours a day for three days and then a break for three weeks. His body was worn down, he wore a mask because he had no immune system to battle any illness, and food tasted like worn carpet.
Nurses at the Richard L. Roudebush VA Medical Center, where he was being treated, were constantly stunned at his positive attitude. But Jay had already seen how it could be worse. He knew of children with the same diagnosis who didn’t make it. He had witnessed the ceremony a veteran received when they died at the VA hospital, with taps and staff lining the halls.
“I was wondering if they were going to wheel me out, like they did them,” Jay said.
“But if you sit there and say ‘poor me,’ all that’s going to do is make you feel bad.”
That has been the motto for the entire family, who say overcoming cancer is 75 percent prayer, 20 percent attitude and 5 percent medicine.
When Marlene’s cancer returned, treatments made her sick for days, and she had complications from infections, but she kept pushing herself forward. She remembered a teenager who was diagnosed with cancer and fought for years until she lost her battle last year.
“I can only fight like she did. You have to have the strength,” Marlene said.
She would have liked to be the only one in her family with cancer, the only one suffering through treatments, but that isn’t their family’s story.
Carmichael also was diagnosed with cancer last year and also faced complications like her sister.
After her mastectomy, she had complications with infection that required her reconstructive surgery to be put off, leading to a much longer recovery than expected. She lost a large amount of weight and ended up in the hospital more than once during her chemotherapy treatments.
While she was going through treatment, her husband was hospitalized for a heart condition, and their hospital bills stacked up.
But they continued pushing forward, supporting each other throughout all of it.
By this fall, Marlene and Karen had both had their last surgeries and recovered well and were in remission, along with their father. Doctors have told Jay if he stays in remission for two years, the cancer likely won’t return.
Cancer has been a huge battle for their family, but it has also brought them closer together, they said.
With the genetic mutation Karen, Marlene and Jay all carry, they know cancer is just a part of their life.
“Don’t ask what else can happen. It is what it is,” Marlene said.
“We’re never going to be done with it. It’s not your life, but it’s part of your life.”
But they choose to remain positive, they said. Cancer also led Karen’s son, Thrasher IV, to work as a patient support tech at Community South Hospital on the oncology ward, where his patients rave about him, she said.
“You can take the pity road or you can take the road of ‘I want to do something again,” Jay said.
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What cancer taught me?
Everyday on this side of the grass is a good one. Stay positive.
But also be comfortable with death. Being OK with it is freeing.
How cancer changed you?
You’re not invincible. But your health is not all you have.
What you would tell someone just diagnosed?
Trust the medical professionals, but also educate yourself. Don’t underestimate the other people in your life. People are really wonderful and want to help.
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