Memories, or lack thereof, make a marriage

<p>Three things make a marriage work. Unfortunately, nobody knows what they are. If push came to shove and I had to guess, I’d say no pushing or shoving would top the list.</p><p>Mary Ellen and I will celebrate our 40th anniversary this year. We’ve been happily married for 37 years; the other two we were sharing a bathroom.</p><p>Communication is vitally important. This is a typical conversation my wife and I have at the dinner table:</p><p>“What are you doing tomorrow, Mary Ellen?”</p><p>“Let’s see, I have my morning exercise class, then a haircut at two, and then book club after dinner. And you?”</p><p>“I’m playing pickleball, then I’m shooting a TV segment and I’m going to write this week’s column.”</p><p>The next morning at breakfast…</p><p>“Tell me again, what are you doing today, Mary Ellen?”</p><p>“I have exercise class, then a haircut, and book club after dinner. What’s on your schedule?”</p><p>“I’m playing pickleball, then shooting a TV segment and then writing this week’s column.”</p><p>Later that night…</p><p>“So, what did you do today, Mary Ellen?”</p><p>“I had my exercise class, got a haircut and went to a meeting. What did you do?”</p><p>“I played pickleball, did a TV segment and wrote a column.”</p><p>We don’t even realize we had the same exchange several times. Is this because we don’t pay attention to each other, or are we both losing our memories?</p><p>When I got home last Tuesday evening, Mary Ellen was nowhere to be found. She probably had said where she was going, so I wasn’t worried. About 9 p.m. she called. “Hi, Dick, I’m having a great time in Boston with my old friend Eve.”</p><p>“You’re in Boston? I don’t remember you telling me that.”</p><p>“That’s because I didn’t mention it.”</p><p>“You didn’t? Why not?”</p><p>“Why bother? By the way, my flight arrives back in Indy at 8 p.m. Friday.”</p><p>“Have fun, Mary Ellen. You can tell me all about your trip when you get home.</p><p>“Thanks, and I’ll bet you will be surprised to see me.”</p>