A Trafalgar resident’s entire adult life has been invaded by cancer.
Marci Bennett was in her 20s when she watched both of her grandfathers die of the disease. Then her dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He survived.
A few years later, her sister was diagnosed with melanoma, and the disease contributed to her death. Bennett helped her husband, Shell, when he was diagnosed with colon cancer and had to relearn how to walk and talk when he reacted badly to chemotherapy.
And earlier this year, she watched her 39-year-old son battle Hodgkin’s lymphoma. In recent months, he was deemed cancer-free.
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Bennett keeps a quote taped to her desk at Franciscan Health, where she is a nurse administrator, that reads: “Sometimes the path to find God’s greatest blessings is the one you would never choose to travel.”
The quote reminds her that although cancer is a horrible disease that has claimed the lives of loved ones, some lessons can be learned from dealing with it. A cancer diagnosis robbed her of time with her grandfathers and sister and of their presence during key life events, such as family weddings and vacations. The disease temporarily robbed her of the security that her children would outlive her and have healthy lives.
“It’s just been different, my life has been different,” she said.
Life is short, and especially after Shell’s diagnosis, she decided that the small things that used to bother her didn’t matter anymore. Dealing with cancer made her marriage stronger, as they decided to concentrate on more than dirty dishes or piles of laundry.
“It makes you appreciate people more,” she said.
The diagnoses just keep coming
Bennett, 64, has never had cancer herself. One of her grandfathers died from complications from surgery meant to treat bladder cancer. The other died of lung cancer. Later, her father, Jack Schier, was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He had been screened, and surgery treated his cancer.
In 2007, her sister, Cindy, was diagnosed. Her sister was treating a spot on the bottom of her foot that she thought was a wart. After six months and no improvement, she went to the doctor and was diagnosed with Stage 4 melanoma. Five years later, she died.
There is no cure for melanoma, and the disease had spread throughout her leg. For years, doctors had success with a clinical trial of drugs that were spot treating the cancer and keeping it contained. In 2012, her sister suffered a ruptured artery in her liver and was hospitalized. Doctors were not sure if the melanoma had spread or if the trial drugs caused the rupture, Bennett said.
Either way, melanoma caused her death, she said. Her sister spent days in the hospital, and Bennett was ready to cancel a work trip to Las Vegas. Her sister began to improve and convinced her to take the trip. A few days into the trip she got the call that her sister’s health was quickly deteriorating and they were thinking of taking her off life support. Bennett rushed home and said goodbye. Her sister soon died.
The next year, during the week leading up to her son’s wedding, her husband, Shell, headed to a health clinic for abdominal pain and fever. Doctors called Bennett and told her that he needed to be taken to an emergency room immediately. He had sepsis.
Emergency room doctors ran tests and found that at the age of 52, he had a mass the size of a grapefruit on his colon. There was no way she could go to her son’s wedding in Florida. Surgery to remove the mass was scheduled for the day before the wedding. Her best friend stood in as the mother of the groom.
The surgery was mostly successful, but doctors found that cancer was also in his lymph nodes and recommended chemotherapy. The next nightmare started.
Shell had the option of a pill or IV. The pill form caused gastrointestinal issues. They switched to IV. He never finished the chemotherapy.
After just over half of the chemotherapy treatments, he was hospitalized. He had lost the ability to walk and had trouble talking. It took six months of rehabilitation for him to recover. He failed tests to evaluate his mental capacity, and even now, years after his diagnosis and treatment, his mental faculties have not fully returned.
“Cancer is an enigma,” he said.
For years, the couple grappled with the fact that he did not complete the full course of chemotherapy, which put him at greater risk of the cancer returning. Shell fell into bouts of depression and convinced himself that the cancer had gone to his brain. He had blood work and other testing done every six months to make sure it had not come back. After five years, they had a “Cancer Sucks” party.
The next diagnosis was for her son. Travis Dilk, 39, is a security guard at Franciscan Health and told his mother in late 2018 that he was getting a cold. It was later diagnosed as pneumonia. Rounds of antibiotics were not helping. Bennett and Dilk assumed he had picked up a super bug working in a hospital.
The whole family was in Florida to celebrate the New Year, and Dilk and his wife mentioned that he was having night sweats and chills. Bennett told him that was not normal. Dilk saw another doctor and was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
“I had some pretty horrendous crying sessions those first few months,” Bennett said. “There wasn’t anything I could do but pray that he would get through this.”
Dilk went through about six months of chemotherapy treatment and finished in June. He is cancer-free. Chemotherapy sapped him of his energy, but he was able to work. The worst part of the treatment was being ordered to stay home from work on days he had chemotherapy because treatments were administered during flu season, he said.
Moving on
Cancer has fundamentally changed the way Bennett lives her life. She and Shell sold their Greenwood home and relocated south to a lake in Trafalgar that has plenty of room for their grandkids to play and a sparkling pool and patio.
“We feel like we are on vacation every day when we come home because it is so pretty there,” she said.
Bennett is planning on retiring from her job in the next year and a half. She thinks of all that cancer has taught her and the tragedy it has caused. She believes that family and friends are the most important things in life. Almost nothing else matters.
And she does not dwell on whether any of the cancers will return. She and Shell had lived for years with the looming anxiety of “What if?” She is done wasting years on worry. “At some point, you have to say, ‘What if it doesn’t?’” Bennett said.
Cancer treatment will fundamentally change who a person is, Shell said. “When you go through cancer treatment, you don’t exit the same person.”
Shell also struggled with depression and eventually had to stop working because of the symptoms. “If I had to do this all over again, I would not do it,” he said.
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Name: Marci Bennett
Bennett has been the caregiver and support to multiple family members with cancer.
What has cancer taught you?
That faith, family and friends really are more important than anything else.
How has cancer changed you?
I have slowed down to take time to be with family and friends. While work provides for your life it is NOT the most important thing at the end of the day.
What would you tell someone just diagnosed?
I believe God has a plan for each of us and he is in control even when we do not understand. Reach out to others for help because you cannot fight cancer alone. Someone has walked your path before you and will be there to support you even if it is a shoulder to cry on.
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