Dezra Findley dances with her husband, Joe, during a holiday photo shoot on Nov. 28. Findley was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer earlier this year, and to help her enjoy what she believes will be her last Christmas, a group of local supporters helped set up the photography session, decorate their home and showered her with gifts.
SUBMITTED PHOTO BY AMBER HITE-MARSHALL
Husband and wife held one another close, swaying in front of the glowing antique Christmas tree.
This is likely going to be their last Christmas together.
When Dezra Findley was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in February, her doctors told her there was no treatment. The 66-year-old Franklin resident was initially shocked, but had come to terms with her failing health, vowing to approach this holiday season with zest.
So when she saw the antique aluminum tree in the front of Farm Girl Mercantile boutique, she thought it would be a perfect place for a final Christmas photograph with her husband, Joe.
“I had already decided this year that I wanted to do Christmas pictures with my husband, because I really feel in my heart that this may be my last one — and if not the last one, maybe the last one where I can enjoy it,” Findley said. “That tree would be ideal, and it would be beautiful.”
She explained her situation, and what she hoped to do, to store owner Tracy Bohler. What followed was a cascade of giving to ensure Findley had a picture-perfect Christmas. Bohler and a small army of supporters arranged a professional photography session for the couple, decorated their home inside and out, and showered Findley with gifts.
None of them had ever met her before; rather, they were moved by her strength and faith in the face of what could be a bleak situation.
“She told me, ‘This is going to be the best Christmas. I feel like I’m in a movie, but it’s really happening to me,’” Bohler said. “That just pulls at your heartstrings when someone says that. I didn’t know her before she came into the shop, but there was something about her and her story that snowballed into all of this.”
This had been an unexpected and difficult year.
Findley had been going regularly to her doctor to get cancer screenings and checkups, ever since she received treatment for breast cancer more than 30 years ago.
During her appointment in February, her oncologist once again gave her a clean bill of health.
“He told me that I had a 1% chance of ever getting breast cancer again, and he’s been telling me that for the past four or five years,” she said. “So I pranced out, like I usually do.”
But just one month later, the shield of good health came crashing down. Findley started feeling poorly a few weeks later, and had a checkup with her doctor. She was sent to see her oncologist again, and this time, she was told that she had breast cancer again.
Findley expected she would receive a combination of chemotherapy and radiation, as she did when she had previously been treated for cancer. Unfortunately, her doctor said, there was nothing they could do to cure the terminal cancer.
“I still thought I could just do what I did 30 years ago, and I’d be fine,” Findley said. ”But he said no.”
Findley is working with an oncologist at IU Health to manage her cancer and live as long as she can. She takes two chemotherapy pills, which work to prevent the growth of cancer cells but also wrecks her immune system.
She is in constant pain; most mornings, even with pain medication, it’s difficult to get out of bed.
Still, Findley has accepted her condition, putting her faith in God to take care of her.
“I look at everything through the lens of things from the Lord. Having cancer again had been hard to swallow, but I know it’s all been God’s plan for my life. I know my home is reserved in heaven,” she said.
That meant taking advantage of every experience she could while her health held out. So when the annual Franklin Holiday Open House came up on Nov. 6, she and a group of friends made plans to go shopping.
Even though she didn’t feel well that day, Findley willed herself to get ready and head out for the day. While visiting the stores and shops of downtown Franklin, she spotted the tree at Farm Girl Mercantile.
“I’d been wanting one so bad. When I was a little girl, my mom and dad had one. Back in the ’50s and ’60s, many, many people had those trees,” Findley said. “I had pictures of it. It meant a lot to me.”
Findley started a conversation with Bohler, and shared how the tree brought back such wonderful memories of holidays past. She also shared a little bit about the health problems she faced.
Though Bohler was in the middle of a holiday shopping rush, the conversation struck her heart.
“All of the sudden, this woman is standing next to us at the counter, talking about our aluminum Christmas tree — how much she loved it, and it brought back so many childhood memories,” Bohler said. “We couldn’t give her all of our attention, but then she said, ‘This is going to be my last Christmas,’ and when someone says that to you, that took us back.”
Their conversation ended on friendly terms, but Bohler did not think anything more would come from it.
Still, Findley had been thinking about the tree. Two weeks later, Findley phoned the shop with a request: Could she and her husband take their likely final Christmas card photo in front of that aluminum tree?
Bohler wholeheartedly agreed, but offered an alternative. Her own family revels in decorating for the holidays, particularly Bohler’s son, Payton. Throughout his childhood, and on through his teen years, he had earned the nickname “Griswold,” after Chevy Chase’s overzealous character in “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.”
The centerpiece of his displays is an antique tree created entirely out of silver tinsel that had been passed down through his family for generations.
“Before I called (Findley) back, I asked Payton, what do you think we can do? Is there something we could do at the house? And he suggested my grandmother’s old aluminum tree,” Bohler said. “When I called her back and told her, she started crying. We were both crying.”
Then the idea started growing. Bohler posted on Facebook what she was hoping to do for Findley, and asked if anyone else would be able to help with photographs. Replies came flooding in.
After seeing Bohler’s call-out on social media, Amber Hite-Marshall offered her talents.
“Honestly it pulled at my heart heartstrings. Having memories of a loved one, like photographs, is so important. Especially when they look and feel happy,” she said. “I honestly didn’t know anything about Dezra or Joe, but I knew that if Tracy needed help bringing a smile to their faces during what could be a very sad time, I would absolutely help in any way I could.”
Other people started to offer gifts to Findley. They sent certificates for facials, plus candles, blankets, slippers and other ways to pamper her.
On Nov. 28, Findley and her husband met at Bohler’s house, where Hite-Marshall took a variety of different poses of the couple with the tree, dancing and enjoying themselves. The photographs radiated happiness.
“This was for Dezra for sure, but also her loved ones as well,” Hite-Marshall said. “Their love and joy for each other was contagious. The way he smiled at her says it all.”
But Bohler and her team of merry-makers were still working. The following night, they came to the Findleys’ home, offering to decorate the inside of the house, while Payton Bohler strung lights and other adornments outside.
“I honestly had no idea that they were going to do all of this,” she said. “I didn’t have the energy to do this.”
The generosity and selflessness that people have shown her has been hard to believe, Findley said. She has always been the one to care for others in their time of need; to have the roles reversed has been difficult, yet wonderful.
“God knows there are things that we love in this world, and he gives those things to us as blessings,” she said. “But I’m used to being the blesser — not the receiver. It was very odd for me at first, but I talked to my daughter, and she said that I need to accept this blessing from the Lord and just take it. I don’t deserve it, but I’m so grateful.”
