It was not a party, not a gala, but more of a gathering together of friends, family and neighbors from the small town. Against one wall stood a long table with paper plates stacked next to chafing dishes. Plates of sweets and snacks, mostly homemade, sat invitingly around the room. The entire space was filled with the hum of warm reminisces on this chilly, late December day. Rita’s 80th birthday celebration.
Becky and I met Rita 20 years ago at church. We play handbells together. We know her as a natural giver, a doer, someone who cares and wants to help. Rita looks in on members of the congregation who aren’t able to attend, packs backpacks for children in the community, volunteers at the local food bank and gives her time in any area where she can be of help. She does it all with a smile on her face. Becky and I agree: Rita is a human being who embodies the Christian admonition to put oneself second.
Small plates in hand we walk around the room stopping to look at images of her from various times in her life. Here she is as a young girl finely dressed standing in the front row of a large extended family portrait. Here is a perhaps slightly skeptical teenager in her school photo. Here is a later family portrait, now as a young woman sitting, her husband standing over her shoulder with their two young children alongside. Both of her adult children were at the celebration, of course, and I am prepared to believe her husband who died long ago was there in spirit, as well.
This is the Rita we have known for the last 20 years. From what the people at the birthday gathering said, some who have known her all their lives, this is the Rita they know, as well.
A musical duo playing folk tunes was set up in a corner. When the time came, Rita’s son took the mic as asked if anyone had any words to share. Several people did. We heard cheerful and charming anecdotes. Some shared personal memories of interactions with Rita; the kind of detailed family stories that over the years become encased in golden amber.
Her son wound up sharing time with his own observations on his mother and his life with her. He said many good and thoughtful things which confirmed what we already knew about Rita. One particular comment he made struck a chord with both Becky and me. I can’t re-create his exact words, but the gist was: “We are all here right now in this place, and she is here with us. We have a chance to talk about and express the love we have for this woman, and we can share that love with her. Right now. We can share our love with others. Right now. Why wait?” These are the words Becky and I heard.
A new year is coming on. The calendar numbers are changing as we speak. We have another new year to act and to do. There is much that needs to be said and done. Why wait?
Norman Knight, a retired Clark-Pleasant Middle School teacher, writes this weekly column for the Daily Journal. Send comments to [email protected].
