Trares
All week long, I’ve gotten the same question.
“What do you want to do for Father’s Day?”
And each time Anthony or my wife ask me, I’ve given the same response — “I don’t know.” Not that I’m trying to be obtuse or difficult, but because even after nearly eight years, I‘m hesitant to take a day focused on me. I still have a hard time picturing myself as “dad.”
Don’t get me wrong — I love the job. Getting to see Anthony learn new things, try different activities, experience new joys has been one of the most wonderful parts of my life.
But in my experience, dads are an elite group. They’re sources of wisdom and knowledge. They teach you how to ride a bike, throw a fastball, change a tire on your car.
They teach more difficult, yet more vital lessons as well — the value of hard work, the importance of honesty, why you should treat everyone fairly and with dignity.
My own father taught me those things, and my grandfathers exemplified them too.
Father’s Day, then, has always been a chance for me to show my own father, and my grandfathers, how much they meant to me.
I’m much more comfortable on the giving side of that equation, rather than the receiving side.
But at the same time, I realize that this weekend is an opportunity for Anthony to step into the “giving” role. I’d like to think I’m teaching him the things my own dad taught me. We go fishing in the backyard pond, practice swimming in the pool and throw the football and forth.
Coaching his soccer team this spring, I had the chance to see him grow as a player, dribbling and passing with confidence he’d never shown before. When, in one of the final games, he came so close to scoring a goal, I was ready to burst.
At the same time, I hope he’s learning gratitude and work ethic from me. Just last weekend, we spent the morning spreading mulch around our garden beds. It was a hot, dirty job, and Anthony didn’t like it right away.
But I stressed that it had to be done before we could play. And even if it wasn’t the most fun activity, we did it together.
It made the celebratory popsicle when we finished taste that much better.
So I’ll let him and his wife spoil me on Sunday. I know they’ve been hard at work on gifts (even as I’ve emphasized they don’t need to buy me anything.) We’ll probably go out to eat for lunch — my choice, though any parents of young kids know that comes with the caveat of “Will they eat anything here?”
Afterward, maybe I’ll lounge in the backyard with a drink and listen to baseball on the radio, or putter around doing yard work — dad stuff.
No matter what happens, though, I’ll have the chance to thank the dads in my life for what they’ve given me. And hopefully, think about how I can give that to Anthony, then.
Ryan Trares is a senior reporter and columnist for the Daily Journal. Send comments to [email protected].
