A group in Franklin holds a Living Room Conversation on the topic of patriotism on July 10 at Grace United Methodist Church. They meet monthly to have civil discussions about different hot-button topics.
Emily Ketterer | Daily Journal
Inside a room at Grace United Methodist Church, a group of people meet monthly to discuss some of the most hot-button issues facing the United States today.
From American patriotism to gun control, from the LGBTQ+ community to assisted suicide and ageism, this group comes together to talk civilly about these highly-debated and sometimes uncomfortable issues each month.
Karen Altergott Roberts and her husband Bruce Roberts started holding these Living Room Conversations at Grace UMC in Franklin over a year ago. They wanted to open a space for people in the community to learn how to talk to each other civilly.
“One of the reasons we started it is because of the loss (of civility) and the need for people who don’t agree with each other to learn how to communicate civilly,” Altergott Roberts said.
Living Room Conversations is actually a national nonprofit organization, founded in 2010 as a mode to “focus on bridging divides through conversation.”
Anyone can start a Living Room Conversations group or have a conversation with friends or family based on the organization’s model. The organization has over 100 topics listed on its website for potential discussions, and each topic comes with a discussion guide with questions and instructions on how to conduct the conversation.
These different prepared topics range over a wide spectrum from political conversations like abortion, guns or freedom of speech, to health and wellness topics, such as alcohol, health care or mental health. Education, faith, money, war, justice and the American Dream are some of the other categories listed on the website with different sub-topics listed in each.
Discussion focuses on each person’s personal perspective on the topic, and people can disagree or agree. The goal of these conversations is to talk to each other — not debate, persuade, judge or grill each other.
The Robertses first joined a Living Room Conversations group at a previous church they went to in Indianapolis. When they started going to Grace UMC, they wanted to start a group there.
“There’s a big divide in this country and everybody knows it,” Roberts said. “And we don’t seem to be able to talk across it. So we’re looking for ways that we might be able to do that, and I think the Living Room Conversations offer a process for doing that.”
The number of people who attend each meeting, which is typically on the second Monday of the month, varies. The group size ranges from four people in one month to eight to 10 people in another. Conversations are meant to be small, so groups of more than six typically split up into smaller gaggles to talk.
Austin Miller, youth director at Grace UMC, started his job at the church right before the first Living Room Conversations meeting last year, and he was invited to join them for that first discussion. He’s been part of the group since, serving as the conversation host.
“Honest conversation is so important. There’s a lot of disconnection right now and a lot of what I would call pseudo-connection, where we vaguely interact with people online and think that that’s really interacting with each other,” Miller said.
This group collectively picks the topic for each monthly meeting, either from the list on the Living Room Conversations’ website, or they create their own. The topic for the month is usually decided by polling people involved and getting to know what they are interested in discussing, Altergott Roberts said.
The topic for the group’s July 10 meeting was patriotism, a discussion topic the group crafted on their own. Living Room Conversations offers blank outlines online that people can use to make their own topic if it’s something not already listed on the website.
Conversations are divided into four sections, with the first two focused on introductions and going over the conversation guidelines.
The topic conversation is guided by three question rounds. A list of questions are provided in each round and each person can pick one to answer while others listen. Everyone gets a chance to speak.
During the discussion on patriotism, the group started with “get to know each other” questions, and could answer questions like, “what are your hopes and concerns for your family, community and the country?” and “what sense of purpose/mission/duty guides you in your life?”
The second question round involves exploring the topic. In the patriotism discussion, the group answered questions such as “what does or doesn’t make you proud of being an American?” and “what does it mean to love your country? Can you love your country and hate something about it at the same time?” After each person had time to answer their question of choice, there was time for follow-up questions and discussion.
“The whole point of it is just to give people the chance to talk about what they believe and everyone else listens during that time,” Miller said. “Everyone gets their own time to speak.”
The third round focuses on reflection on the conversation, where the group talks about what they learned about each other or the topic, and they can reflect on where they agreed or disagreed.
Most of the attendees at the Franklin group’s meetings have been mostly church members or friends of people in the group, Altergott Roberts said. They hope to expand their reach and bring in more people with different viewpoints, she said.
Roberts said they haven’t been able to recruit a lot of people who hold what are considered “conservative” views to come to their discussions.
“It’s hard to get somebody from across the divide to represent that perspective. Does this raise the question of, is wanting to have a conversation across the divide, is that a ‘liberal’ thing to do?” he said.
Miller noted there are many times the people in the group have disagreed during a discussion because everyone has a different experience no matter their political sway.
“That’s one thing we’re trying to build up is being more comfortable acknowledging the disagreement,” Miller said. “Because I think at several of our meetings, we’ve disagreed more than we’ve acknowledged the disagreement.”
The next Living Room Conversation for the group in Franklin is Aug. 14 at 6:30 p.m., and the topic is LGBTQ+ issues.
IF YOU GO
Living Room Conversations
Topic: LGBTQ+
Where: Wesley Room (west entrance) at Grace United Methodist Church, 1300 E. Adams St., Franklin.
When: Monday, Aug. 14 from 6:30 p.m. to 8 p.m.
