I just finished an article by Adam M. Rosen in the Wall Street Journal where I learned of some people and groups who are vocal critics of a particular genre of greeting cards.
The objectionable cards are of the birthday variety, especially those cards people often choose to give to older adults, er … senior citizens; seasoned citizens; retirees; elders; the elderly. OK, let’s just say, “those of a certain age.” The objection to this particular type of card is the message: “Happy birthday. Gee, you are old.”
As I am of a certain age myself, I feel like I can weigh in on this.
One of the people quoted in the article, Jan Golden, creator of the Age-Friendly Vibes greeting card line, relays the statistic that 123 million people over 50 live in the United States. According to her, we are all “tired of the ‘Damn, you’re old’ cards.”
First off, I question whether all 123 million of us are as outraged and offended as Golden claims, but maybe it’s a bigger number than I realize. I do know, as I discovered while surfing the Internet (Do people still “surf” the Internet?), there are any number of people and groups out there who would like to cancel birthday cards that use “humor” to inadvertently exhibit ageism.
On Golden’s website, Age Friendly Vibes, the word “ageism” is defined as “Any judgment on the basis of age, whether directed at people older than us, younger than us, or our own selves (internalized ageism). When directed at older people, it often involves assumptions that older people are less competent, capable, and attractive.”
The Age Friendly Vibes site also lists “Five Surprisingly Common Examples of Ageism in Birthday Cards.” These examples include “Declaring You’re Old,” “Minimizing the Number of Years” (“You are this old in dog years,”), “Physical Ailments,” “Sexual inactivity,” as well as the accompanying cartoons and illustrations (“Sagging body parts paired with clever sentiments about how awful it is to be old”). The site then calls for action: “It is up to all of us and future older selves to call out and discuss the impact of this type of ageism.”
As I surfed on, I found “Senior Planet,” a site associated with AARP. Considering that “retired persons” is one-half of the AARP name, I figured comments on the acceptability of names and labels concerning people of a certain age would have some standing in a discussion of ageism. The comments were thoughtful and, it seemed to me, more generous and less strident than similar sites.
One writer said, “I prefer ‘senior’ because any word that is so often paired with ‘discount’ can’t be all bad … and it sounds at least a little dignified.” Another said the term “senior” makes her “shudder” because it reminds her of high school. Many who commented preferred “elder.” One suggested “perennial” which, as Becky pointed out, could mean you go dormant for half the year. One person felt “survivor” would be appropriate. I can relate to this one. When people wish me happy birthday, I usually respond, “Yay! I made it another year!”
Names and labels about aging don’t really bother me too much. I can laugh or at least appreciate the humor when I read birthday cards directed at elderly people including the “Gee, you’re old” cards often given to me. Maybe it is because my life has been filled with brothers and friends who have always joked and kidded each other about such things.
We learned early on to laugh at ourselves. The way I see it, it is just part of getting older. But I could be wrong. After all, I am of a certain age.
Norman Knight, a retired Clark-Pleasant Middle School teacher, writes this weekly column for the Daily Journal. Send comments to [email protected].
