A lot has been said about family and children in this election season, and all of that is resonating in my head as I prepare to see my daughter marry the love of her life Saturday.
So, I hope you can forgive me a bit of a departure from all things policy and politics to instead focus on life and love.
I can already feel the tears starting as my husband prepares to walk his little girl down the aisle.
She came into my life when she was a precocious five-year-old. Yes, that means I didn’t give birth to her. But I survived the teen years, so I hope J.D. Vance thinks that’s enough to give me full voting rights.
One surprising, unexpected thing about parenting: she taught me just as much as I taught her.
Teaching me
My daughter has always been herself and encourages me to care less about what other people think — whether that’s my hair or clothes or life in general. She has never been fake for the sake of fitting in. She wears what she wants when she wants, and has crafted her own authentic style and personality.
She has also taught me patience. Parenting hasn’t always been easy and anyone who tells you otherwise — even for step-parents — simply isn’t being honest. She had to make mistakes on her own to learn a lesson. It didn’t matter the warnings or advice we gave. But that’s the way she learns and I needed to understand that.
Another big lesson she taught me is to be open and accepting of people, regardless of backgrounds or life experiences. She doesn’t pre-judge people and sometimes would gently point out that I needed to get to know people without preconceived labels.
Now, I hope I also taught her a few things.
Teaching her
The first is just a zest for knowledge. We have always encouraged open debate in our house and sometimes would have some hefty political discussions over chicken nuggets. I took her to her first political rally and voted with her the first time.
Her Dad and I have always stressed the need to work hard. College wasn’t her path and she is still trying to find what really fulfills her professionally. But as long as she works hard, she will have a life full of promise.
Another lesson is forgiveness. Everyone makes mistakes. God knows I did when I was growing up, and still do as an adult. It’s not healthy to keep fomenting anger, even if you are in the right. So, I try to be the bigger person and give people second and third chances.
And speaking of mistakes, don’t be afraid to make them in the name of trying new things. That’s the only way to learn if something is right for you.
And last, but not least, don’t ever give up on the Cincinnati Bengals. She has joined me in my love of the team — though I think Joe Burrow had a little bit to do with that.
The fact is I don’t know if she and her new husband will stick around in central Indiana, or even the Hoosier State. They might soon want to branch out on their own and try a new locale. I know she has become a bit disillusioned living here. She values the ability to make reproductive choices, and she would love a place that is more welcoming to everyone for who they are.
No doubt she will be beautiful when she walks down the aisle. But more importantly, she is just as beautiful on the inside. I am proud to be her mom.
Niki Kelly is editor-in-chief of indianacapitalchronicle.com, where this commentary first appeared. She has covered Indiana politics and the Indiana Statehouse since 1999 for publications including the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette. Send comments to [email protected].
