<p>Can we stop saying we’re sorry?</p>
<p>I’ve been on the phone trying to straighten out some billing matters and every customer service representative I talk to is sorry. Sorry is epidemic.</p>
<p>“How may I help you today?”</p>
<p>“We’ve had a continuing problem with our bill.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry to hear that.”</p>
<p>“I used to be sorry, too, but now that our bill has been $45 in your favor for three months, and an additional unauthorized $13 charge is appearing, I’m past sorry.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry to hear that.”</p>
<p>“You’re the fourth person I’ve talked to about this.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“I talked to a woman named Melanie yesterday. She was sorry, too.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Why are you sorry? Do you know Melanie? Should I have refused to talk to her?”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t know Melanie, but I’m sorry you had to talk to her.”</p>
<p>“It sounds like you have something against Melanie.”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t. Sorry for the confusion.”</p>
<p>“Could you quit saying you’re sorry?”</p>
<p>“Sorry.”</p>
<p>“I bet you’re going to tell me something different from all the other people I talked to, aren’t you? I get a different answer every time I call.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Here’s the thing, I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to be competent. I want you to be sharp, resourceful, imaginative, smart and discerning,” I say.</p>
<p>“Yes ma’am. I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Look, Mark, is it? Why don’t we do this? For every time you say sorry, you credit my bill $10.”</p>
<p>“I can’t do that ma’am. I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Could you agree not to say sorry one more time?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I’ll try.”</p>
<p>“That’s great. Listen, I’m not holding you responsible for this mess, any more than I am holding you responsible for the mess in the Middle East.”</p>
<p>“Thank you very much.”</p>
<p>“I know you didn’t write this convoluted bill, you just happened to pick up the phone today, but I don’t need you to be sorry — I need you to fix it!”</p>
<p>After 15 minutes, including several stints on hold, he did fix it. I thanked him for being of genuine assistance.</p>
<p>“If that’s all ma’am, I know you asked me not to say I was sorry again, but I would like to say — ”</p>
<p>Click.</p>
