<strong>By Norman Knight</strong>
I went to my doctor last week for my yearly physical. I talk to him about lots of medical stuff (which I promise you I will not write about), but as he has been my doctor for many years, we talk about other, non-medical things, as well.
We often chat about my newspaper columns. In one of our discussions I mentioned that the biggest writing challenge, for me anyway, is coming up with something to write about. He understood. He is very understanding. He is a doctor, after all.
The good doctor has given me good ideas for columns over the years. During this last appointment he mentioned that his wife is a good cook. You can tell he really admires how she can come up with new recipes week after week, month after month.
In some ways, cooking is like writing. You start with an original vision, add ingredients in the correct order, applying proper heat and hopefully wind up with something satisfying.
Life is like that. First you make the decision to go in one direction rather than another. After that you must envision how you are going to make it happen. Finally, you need to act on your plans. After coming up with the initial idea, getting up off one’s duff and getting started may be the hardest part. Procrastination has derailed many a good plan. At least for me it has.
I wonder sometimes if procrastination might be contagious. I’m pretty sure my wife was not a procrastinator when I first met her, and even today Becky mostly makes decisions and then follows through, at least on smaller, everyday things.
It is the shared choices we both must make that seem to require an inordinate amount of time to decide. We like to think we are weighing all our options, but after a while, that seems more like an excuse to avoid acting.
Our tendency to procrastinate has become something of a family joke, at least with granddaughter Lorelei. “Grandma, you and Grandpa always talk about doing things, but you never do them,” she has observed on more than one occasion.
And she’s right. How long have we been talking about getting a pickup truck? How many years have we been considering that major improvement on our house? Our latest non-decision has been the realization we need a new mattress.
Oh, we talked it to death for months, maybe even years. But recently — finally — we drove to several mattress stores to look and compare. One thing I learned is shopping for a new mattress is a lot of work. Also it is not that exciting. Maybe that is why we both have been putting it off.
What is it about making big decisions that causes us such difficulty? Well, one factor is cost. We both tilt to the frugal side when it comes to spending large sums of money. It’s not a bad thing to keep an eye on the bank balance, but sometimes not spending can be a poor decision.
Another roadblock to big decision-making is the worry that you might be struck with buyer’s remorse or at least harbor second thoughts wondering if you did the right thing. The truth is, anxiety about how to begin, uncertainty about how to proceed and procrastination in finishing up are really just manifestations of fear. Fear keeps us from putting our plans into action.
It’s not easy to deal with fears, small ones or big ones. But thousands of words have been said and written about how debilitating fear is in our lives. People from the wisest religious leaders to pop psychologists warn us about fear. “Don’t be afraid,” may be one of humanity’s most useful pieces of advice.
Becky and I have overcome our fear about mattresses, at least. We’ve narrowed it down to three choices. Not sure which one yet, but the decision to buy has been made. Early next week, at the latest. Until then, we’ll sleep on it.
<em>Norman Knight, a retired Clark-Pleasant Middle School teacher, writes this weekly column for the Daily Journal. Send comments to [email protected].</em>
