<p>I love a clearance sale. I can coupon like nobody’s business. My passion often revolves around finding a way to pay less than retail. No price is low enough for me. I’m always looking for a way to stretch every penny beyond its capacity.</p>
<p>But I do struggle in more ways than I’d like to admit when it comes to shopping. In particular, I find it nearly excruciating to spend on myself.</p>
<p>Don’t worry — I’m far from perfect. Even with my bargaining skills, I still waste money. Everyone does. Why I think my family will eat all the produce I purchase before it reaches compost level of decay, I’m not sure. I have a weakness for spending when it comes to the people I love, too. But spending on myself has been a recurrent problem for me.</p>
<p>I could blame this predisposition on my age and stage in life. As a busy mom, I see the needs of my household as greater than my own. Or it would be easy to lay this particular struggle at the feet of our debt slaying pursuits. When we were paying off $127,000 in debt, there really wasn’t a budget for personal needs beyond the basics. But now, even when we do have extra resources to spare, it can still be difficult to make the choice to spend.</p>
<p>If you’re like me and feel guilt or even shame when you make a purchase for yourself, it’s smart to ask a few probing questions.</p>
<p>Does this purchase benefit my health?</p>
<p>Here’s a difficult principle I sometimes struggle to comprehend even though I know it to be true: Financial martyrdom leads to greater problems. This becomes crystal clear when I choose to ignore my health — both physical and mental — in the name of saving a buck. That can lead to a much more trying and expensive situation.</p>
<p>Investing in your health has long term benefits. From shoes that fit well to a refillable bottle that helps me drink more water, when I make spending choices that enhance my health I end up being a better version of myself. Hesitating to take care of my health isn’t being frugal, it’s asking for trouble.</p>
<p>What makes me think I’m unworthy?</p>
<p>Our financial makeup, not unlike our personalities, springs from a combination of our unique genetic code and from our upbringing. In other words, we all carry financial baggage whether realize it or not. Sometimes pausing to ask why we’re struggling with a particular purchase can help us identify our spending roadblocks.</p>
<p>Perhaps you were raised in an environment where money was in short supply, leading to a sense of insecurity and like you’ll never have enough. Or maybe someone in your household held it over your head that they were sacrificing for you, and now, you carry on in a similar pattern for your own family.</p>
<p>Don’t get me wrong. From time to time, we should have an internal struggle over whether or not to make a purchase. If we didn’t we’d all be flat broke. But if yours is a continual fight of putting every other person and objective before yourself, you may want to ponder the above question and unpacking your motives.</p>
<p>Do I need to give something else up to buy this item?</p>
<p>Money is finite. Saying yes to one thing often requires us to say no to something else. So while it’s easy enough for me to say, “You’re worth it! Go ahead and treat yourself!” you may need to make some choices when it comes to your money.</p>
<p>It’s OK to spend money on a haircut or even a vacation for yourself. But if not budgeted for regularly, those dollars will need to come from somewhere else. Give yourself permission to make financial choices, but don’t make blind purchases. Have a solid strategy in place beforehand.</p>
<p>Will this become a recurring expense?</p>
<p>In recent years, much has been made over self care. We’re told it’s essential in order to live a full and abundant life. However, self care on a payment plan does more harm than good. There’s a difference between the impact a one-time purchase can have on your budget and one that’s deducted monthly from your bank account.</p>
<p>Gym memberships, nail appointments, subscription services, regular meals in restaurants — all of these can take a notable chunk out of your paycheck. Recurring expenses add up over time. Your money has limits. Recognize them before you get carried away.</p>
<p>Let me close with some really good news. You can take care of yourself without spending any money at all. After all, the best things in life really are still free. A belly laugh, a conversation with a friend, a sweaty workout, a glass of iced tea (these are a few of my favorite things), cost little to no money.</p>
<p>However, if the people around you who love you the most and know your financial situation thoroughly are encouraging you to spend, trust them. You probably could stand to replace those athletic shoes with holes in them or get your hair cut.</p>
<p>Of course, I’m always going to encourage you to use coupons and hunt for a bargain. There’s nothing wrong with that. But in the end, we all could benefit from dumping financial guilt and feeling good about spending the hard earned dollars we make.</p>
<p><em>Greenwood resident Cherie Lowe and her husband paid off $127,000 in debt in four years and now live debt-free every day with their two kids. She is the author of “Slaying the Debt Dragon: How One Family Conquered Their Money Monster and Found an Inspired Happily Ever After.” Send questions, column ideas and comments to <a href="mailto:[email protected]">[email protected]</a></em></p>
