“I’m done gardening,” I grumpily say to my husband, who just finished the mowing I had started the previous day, and was also drenched in sweat and flying grass from the weed-eater.
“I can’t keep up with it,” I whined as I stood in a brand-new summer 2019 designed and planted hosta garden — which was my idea.
“What’s wrong, wife?” He asked with sweat-dripped compassion as I tiptoed through the new “forest fines” mulch with my swanky business suit, as I had just left my air-conditioned Honda CRV.
“I specifically applied mole repellent with granular castor oil along the bed edge and throughout the entire garden bed and watered it in before mulching and then applied it again! But look, they seem to be enjoying it!” I pointed to the 30-foot mole-run along the entire length of our new bed.
Milli, our red-heeler cattle dog, laid in the garden and wagged her tail. I looked at her and casually noted, “Milli, you COULD start pulling your weight around here.”
“I’ll set the traps this weekend,” the husband replied without rolling his eyes.
In an Bob Vila article titled “How to Get Rid of Moles,” he notes:
“Until you’re rid of the pesky critters, know that it can be OK and even beneficial to live with your underground neighbors for the time being. While you’re cohabiting, just follow a little bit of maintenance to be sure their shallow tunnels don’t completely disrupt the roots of your plants: Press any raised soil back into place with your foot, and water thoroughly so that the roots do not dry out.”
Well, with all due respect Mr. Vila, my moles are actually circling every new hosta that I’ve planted, like wagon trains circling up to keep their livestock corralled. It’s like my moles are have launched their own word-search app called, “Circle all plants that we can uproot and kill — and maybe find a nearby worm to eat.”
I’m taking suggestions.
