Dick Wolfsie: Yes, we can

<p>My son Brett has wisely chosen to bring his lunch to work every day, avoiding dining in restaurants during the pandemic. I asked him what he was taking to eat in his company’s breakroom, and his response was: frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I had never heard of these and bought a box out of curiosity (you have to defrost them first) and now I’m hooked on the stupid things. In fact, I have to hide them in the downstairs freezer behind the Healthy Choice dinners. If my wife finds out what I have been paying for this rip-off, she may never microwave anything good for me again.</p><p>I also discovered another peanut butter innovation. Not sure how I missed it before, because apparently, it’s been around for several years. It’s called a Candwich, a product name that was tested with thousands of potential consumers and produced the fewest number of people sticking their forefinger in their mouth and pretending to gag.</p><p>Instead of buying a ready-made peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a vending machine, or purchasing the separate items in a supermarket to create your own masterpieces, all the stuff comes in a portable kit for four times as much money. Consumers are unhappy to discover that — like their new Ikea deck chair — some assembly is required. But there are no instructions included.</p><p>Inside the container is a hot-dog-like bun in a cellophane wrapper. Packed next to it is one squeezable packet of jelly and one packet of peanut butter. Dispensing ketchup and mustard this way has always been a hassle, so why not try it again with the world’s two slowest-moving foods?</p><p>Included is a utensil for easy spreading. Sales for Candwich have been brisk over the years, they report, but not without some drawbacks. Prisons and airlines will not offer the product to their diners. “We’re not sure why,” said one of the company investors, “but we think it might be because there’s a knife in the can.” There is also a piece of taffy for dessert, an odd choice because combined with the peanut butter embedded in your palate, the company has pretty much eliminated any chance of word-of-mouth publicity.</p><p>Busy parents looking for an easy lunch for the kids applaud this meal in a can, although some are concerned that their six-year-olds might not be able to negotiate the pull-tab. “But I think they’ll figure it out,” said one mom, “and it will be a good learning experience to prepare them for when they start drinking beer.”</p><p>Americans are buying lunch sandwiches in sealed containers the same way they purchase Quaker State Motor Oil. It seems there is no limit to where this convenience may go with future product development. Pizza in a Can and Christmas Dinner in a Can are both on the table — not that you need a table to enjoy the contents. Of course, when you ask consumers what food manufacturers should consider canning next, there’s a unanimous response: How about the entire concept?</p>