Knight
Driving the country road toward Franklin, I notice ice forming on some farm ponds along the way. I allow myself to believe that, after a mild December, perhaps true winter has come to stay as January begins. I should be downtown in 10 minutes.
I am meeting an old friend for warm conversation over hot coffee on this very chilly day. A longtime friend who is my age, so we are “old” friends in both senses. Benjamin’s Coffeehouse on the courthouse square is warm and uncrowded this weekday mid-morning. A clutch of guys in the midst of conversations are chatting, smiling and sipping their coffees.
Why do I suspect they come here on a regular basis? I have seen similar groupings at the fast food restaurant near my home. My mind jumps to memories of other groups of people — mostly older; mostly men, it seems — sitting and communing in various places I have wandered into over the years. These morning gatherings of friends, these “regulars,” are part of the furniture at establishments that don’t mind if you linger. I have witnessed it in big cities and in smaller towns like Fairfield Glade, Tennessee, and Show Lo, Arizona, and places in between. Some conversations might get heated, but mostly it’s just people talking.
I’ve observed it in my travels around the world, as well. I’ve seen amis lingering with espressos at sidewalk tables in Paris; amigos at coffee bars in Santiago; mates sipping cups of tea in London; and prijatelj downing strong, dark java in Dubrovnik. Although I haven’t visited the Mideast (yet), I understand taking coffee in small shops is a centuries old tradition. After all, coffee was first discovered and enjoyed in that part of the world. The list of ways people gather to chat and drink hot beverages goes worldwide.
We two old friends take our time catching up with what is ongoing in our journeys and what new things are happening to us and to families. We share our joys and open ourselves up to share with each other the sadnesses that time has given us. After all these years, we have developed a shorthand to refer to people we know and knew and keep in our memories. Deep friendship.
We touch on world events. We don’t linger on politics because we are no longer trying to convince anyone of anything. There are more important things, and the world is bigger and more interesting than that. The future fascinates us in the sense that it is a marvelous, miraculous world with changes and challenges that make us shakes our heads in wonder. I say I am essentially hopeful. Although he doesn’t say it quite that way, I believe he is, too.
After a while we realize we need to get back to other things. I button my coat and pull my hat on. He does the same. We man hug as we walk to our cars. The outside air is still in the teens. The ponds I drive by are more frozen over than before.
I wouldn’t call it a “resolution” — I gave up that yearly January ritual some years back. But getting together with friends on a regular basis is something perhaps I need to make an effort to do, to make more a part of my life. During these gray, leafless, lifeless January days, especially, it is way too easy for me to retreat to my cozy house and allow myself to shelter in place, COVID mandates or not. Any number of studies connect the lack of social connections with all sorts of physical and mental health problems. It is a healthful and, I would say, moral way to live. Hanging with friends warms you. It is a hopeful act.
