Ordinary citizens can publicly apologize to allies for actions of president

<p>One of the most awkward moments in life happens when we feel compelled to apologize for the behavior of someone else. But those are also some of the most human moments in life, for they affirm that we are connected, for good or bad, with one another.</p>
<p>Of course, for every occasion when there is a need to apologize for the rudeness or insensitivity of another, the mind can produce all kinds of reasons to do nothing.</p>
<p>When we overhear or observe an unnecessarily rude comment or action, we can conclude “that’s his problem, not mine.” Or, when observing unfair treatment of another, we can think to ourselves that, thank God, we would never be so crass or insensitive as that person. And, of course, there is always, “oh, that’s just so-and-so; he’s like that. Just ignore his rudeness.”</p>
<p>The problem with all these excuses is that they ignore the wounds left by rudeness, insensitivity and unfairness. We are finally recognizing the long-term damage that bullying can have on a child. And we are also finally owning up to how damaging these behaviors have been to women and minorities.</p>
<p>Of course, apologizing for the behavior of another can be a cheap gesture. That is especially true when the offending party is a member of one’s family and the type of person who never apologizes for anything. In those cases, to apologize for this relative may enable that relative to keep on being rude. It’s like always cleaning up after a teenager and then wondering why the teenager never cleans up for himself. The great need in that moment is for us to have the courage to confront the bully, the lout, the racist, or the misogynist and demand that he apologize to those he has wounded.</p>
<p>And then there are the times when both are needed: to call on the offending person to apologize but also, if he will not apologize, to offer an apology for him.</p>
<p>After observing how our president treated allies at the recent NATO summit, I feel a need to publicly do both. Yes, those of us who didn’t vote for Trump can say “he’s not part of my family; he’s not my problem.” But to wash our hands of his behavior is to ignore the wounds Trump is inflicting on America’s strongest allies and friends.</p>
<p>So I call on the president to wake up, grow up and fess up. By his own admission, he doesn’t read, so maybe he doesn’t know the role NATO played in the downfall of the Soviet Union and Communism. Perhaps Trump doesn’t know how nations of Eastern Europe, during the Cold War, prayed for NATO to stay strong in resisting the Kremlin’s ambitions. Perhaps Trump doesn’t know that after the collapse of the Soviet Union, small nations previously under the control of Moscow, such as Estonia, Poland, Latvia, Lithuania and the Czech Republic, jumped at the chance to join NATO. For them, the ambitions of Putin’s Russia still pose the greatest threat to their security and freedom.</p>
<p>I do not expect Trump to apologize. That’s not his style and not his sense of manhood. But Trump and I, whether either of us likes it, are “family,” fellow members of this democracy. When he belittles France, Britain, Germany, Canada and other of our nation’s allies, and when he relishes the company of Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin, he does that in my name and the names of other ordinary citizens of this country.</p>
<p>But Trump is not the only one who speaks for this country. If Trump will not apologize for alienating our closest friends, we, ordinary citizens of this democracy, can and should publicly and loudly apologize for the offensive behavior of our president.</p>
<p>Our individual voices will not be as loud as Trump’s, but if we speak together by writing letters to our government representatives, by submitting letters to the editors of our newspapers, or by doing something more symbolic — it’s possible to buy a 4’’ by 6’’ NATO flag for as little as $1.98 on the Internet — then Europe and the world, so worried about the decline of our country, will receive some assurance and comfort that we have not all lost our minds.</p>