I love the wonder of Christmas. I love the hunt for the perfect gift, the simple celebrations that remind us how much we’re loved, the quiet moments of coffee sipping and watching our girls play with new toys.
I love plugging in the Christmas tree as soon as I get up in the morning and staring thoughtfully into its sparkly glow in the late evening hours. I love cookies and cocoa, carols around the clock, and books we read every single season. My heart beats steadily with joy when I contemplate the true meaning of Christmas.
Expectations soar higher than the tallest evergreen during the month of December. We seek out and find that perfect gift. We long for time spent with friends and family to be completely harmonious. We pine for cookies, baked to perfection and bows tied up neatly without a fuss.
But what happens when our longings fall flat and we discover in spite of our best efforts with elves and traditions and matching pajamas that there is no such thing as a perfect Christmas?
Dealing with disappointment during the holiday season can be difficult. Maybe your spouse bought you a new iron instead of that cute pair of boots. Or maybe the kids were less than grateful for the gifts you worked so hard to find and pay for. Your cousins got into a big fight. You caught the flu. Tired and confused, you wonder if this really is the most wonderful time of the year.
Adjust expectations
Don’t misunderstand me. I want nothing more than for you to be caught up in the merriment and magic of Christmas. However, if you’ve convinced yourself that December 25th will transform the challenges you face every other day of your life, you’re deceiving yourself. Difficult people will still be difficult. Financial stresses aren’t whisked away in Santa’s sleigh. And your husband won’t become the chiseled, red suit clad actor with perfect comedic timing from the jeweler’s commercial.People matter more than thingsOn the news this week, I heard reports of people standing in line to buy their kids the hottest new toy. Cold and tired, many had camped out for over 18 hours. I’m guessing most of these men and women love their kids and grandkids something fierce. However, it’s likely that at the end of childhood that toy made of fur and plastic will land in a donation bin or trash can. Time and time again, I remind my readers to spend time, not money on children. But primarily, I’m reminding myself. The stocking stuffers, the meticulously wrapped gift, the fancy meals — none of these things matter as much as my family and friends. At the end of our lives, we won’t long for one more toy. We will want the people who matter most to be at our side. Why not live in such a way today?
Communicate
If you don’t want an iron for Christmas, your spouse will never know unless you tell him or her. By the way, if you love irons, I don’t mean to harsh your mellow, I just know it would be a very sad day indeed if that’s what I tore into on Christmas morn.My point is, your spouse isn’t going to guess. Your significant other isn’t a fortune teller. Drop some very specific hints or better yet, have a chat about what you’d love to see under the tree. If you’d much rather be surprised, that’s fine. But you can’t be upset or angry.
You’ll also want to be regularly communicating about your household and Christmas budget. Many expenses fall through the cracks. With tensions already running high during the hustle and bustle of the season, the last thing you need is a blow up fight.
Disappointed?
When disappointment pops up, ask yourself some soul searching questions. Get to the root of why you’re feeling a lack. Have kind and honest conversations. And ask what you might do to improve the situation, rather than expecting everyone else to move toward you. Seek out the advice of a trusted friend or wise mentor. Know that you’re not alone. We all experience the holiday blues on some level. Talking through your circumstances will help.With the proper perspective, you can enjoy a season peace and joy. You can lose yourself in traditions and even experience new fun. No Christmas is perfect, but every Christmas can be filled with love.
