This week I continue my look back at how I have wrestled with new technology over the past 20 years, and I’ll provide updates on my recent progress.
I like banks. To sort of quote John Dillinger, “I like them because that’s where the money is.”
I also like bank tellers because they help me fill out deposit slips. They even occasionally laugh at my jokes. I never get a giggle out of an ATM machine. Also, tellers know exactly how much cash I have in my savings, so they cannot possibly be laughing at my lousy puns just because they think I have a lot of money.
Several years ago, I wrote about a new technology that was threatening my relationship with these loyal bank employees. Instead of visiting the bank to make deposits, I could do it by simply clicking a photo of the checks. I remember the first time I tried it: I held the check at arm’s length and snapped a shot with my smart phone. I handed the cell phone immediately to my wife for her approval. “Is that a good picture of the check?” I asked.
“No, but it’s a great photo of your thumb. Geesh, I sure hope that’s your thumb.”
I tried a few more times, but I kept getting error messages that my photos were fuzzy, the camera wasn’t steady or the amount wasn’t legible on the check. I never got this kind of flak from Brad, Sarah, Miranda or John at the bank, so why was I putting myself through this?
I went to my branch and told the entire staff that I preferred their outstanding customer service to using some cellphone gadgetry and that I planned to continue banking there on a regular basis.
Unless, of course, I could find an app that would laugh at my jokes. Sadly, that branch has since closed. Now there is no one in my life who knows the difference between an account number and a routing number.
Update: I now deposit all my checks by phone. I spend very little time doing this because I am retired and hardly ever have anything to deposit. I’ve gotten pretty good at this new way of banking. I’m embarrassed that one of my first attempts was a selfie of my hand that proved jowls are not the only thing that make you look older. Gnarled fingers and the orange stuff from Cheetos contribute to a seasoned look.
That app still tells me when the picture I took of the check is not clear enough. It tells me to move closer, then to zoom out.
Then it tells me I need a darker background. Have they read my bio? Could I have a darker background? The older I get, the more prompts I see to hold the phone steadier. I’m just depositing a few bucks … not making one of my shaky financial investments.
The transaction I made just an hour ago was refused: YOUR CHECK AMOUNT DOES NOT MATCH THE DEPOSIT AMOUNT. My check was for a lousy six dollars. I wrote 600, which looked right to me. Until I found my glasses.
I used to spend a lot of time on my smart phone, messing with my accounts, moving money from checking to savings and back. That resulted in a few extra dollars in one account each month. But in the last several years, I’ve continued to lose interest in the process.
Retired television personality Dick Wolfsie writes this weekly column for the Daily Journal. Send comments to [email protected].
