Drats! I may have ruined my perfect record of nearly six decades for having never broken a bone.
You would’ve thought I’d broken a bone or two while rough-housing with my brothers and sisters growing up…but noooooo. I don’t think any of us seven kids broke a bone — maybe a few near misses as we maneuvered our sleds down the snow-covered southern hill between two trees at Craig Park.
While I iced and elevated my purple foot, I naturally googled “most common broken bones.” You may be quite content if you guessed that out of the 206 bones in your body, the top five broken bones were: 1) Clavicle aka: the collarbone, 2) arm 3) wrist 4) hip and 5) ankle.
As my small toe swelled, I also researched the fact that 6.8 million Americans break a bone each year — and on average every person in the U.S. will experience two broken bones throughout their lifetime. I suppose I was due.
Instantly my mind began to process the stomach-sickening horror that what actually happened was, well, rather mundane. I surmised that it would’ve been more exciting to tell others that I’d broken a bone while downhill skiing on a triple black diamond, bull riding or skateboarding in an extreme mountainside competition.
I began to shake my head in shame lamenting “why-oh-why” I couldn’t have broken an ankle 40 years ago during a back-row spike winning a high school volleyball county championship — or maybe even from recently falling out of a treetop while saving a frightened, calico kitten before the fire department arrived.
It wasn’t during a thrill-seeking adventure. Unfortunately, it was a disappointing pity that it happened after cleaning out the garage. After some discussion with my dive partner for life on the merits of blessing someone else with our 29-year old dive tanks and gear . . . I dropped my dive belt with multiple lead weights. Gravity made sure they hit my left foot. And no, I was not wearing my safety goggles nor my steel-toe boots.
The good news is that it ought to heal in 4 to 6 weeks — meanwhile I’m going to keep it iced and elevated, while searching for an upcoming adventure. I’m due for one more break.
